CH-Ch-Changes..... And Baby makes 3!

This post is all about my pregnancy, and truthfully, written solely because the existing pregnancy chat groups, forums, websites, and people who frequent them.. are SCARY as all heck for a first time mom such as myself. (A quick rant, and I promise I won't bash it again: there's two websites in particular, who will remain nameless, in which people literally made me cry. Cyber bullying knows no limits on these sites, which is quite sad, as these people are supposedly mothers-to-be such as myself. I went on with the hopes of finding women such as myself, who may not have a large social or family support group due to where they are living, and instead found women who must spend countless hours a day starting drama and hurting other people's feelings. I honestly hope they don't teach their children their hatred, lack of manners, and cold-hearted souls.) With all that being said, and living in Utah isolated from many of my friends and family, this pregnancy has been pretty rough so far.

Let's start from the beginning, shall we? Shortly after Jace and I were married, we knew we wanted to start our family soon, but had no idea how quickly that would happen for us. We found out we were expecting in early October, and our due date for this little one is June 10th, 2013. I had smooth sailing up until about 7 weeks, where at which point, I started to get minor morning sickness, and very, very tired. Things quickly progressed from weeks 8-14 to just all out warfare. The stories women tell you about "a joyful pregnancy!", "I LOVED being pregnant!", "Oh, morning sickness? Just eat some saltines and you'll be fine!"... Let's get this very clear: this is not the case for every woman. I was one of the unlucky ones that suffered from extreme "morning" sickness, that was pervasive, lasted all day, and particularly brutal at night. I spent nearly every evening from 5pm until 11pm or 12am throwing up, for weeks. No amount of ginger ale, fresh ginger, pregnancy pops, ginger candies, saltines, sprite, cold compresses, warm compresses, sea sickness bands, plain food, or aromatherapy worked. I was just sick as a dog. This in turn, made me very weak, and extremely emotional. In addition to the blessing of morning sickness, I felt pain and a lack of energy I have never in my life experienced. I have run half marathons, and felt better afterward than the feeling I had my first trimester.

So no, I wasn't "reveling in my pregnancy", or "having my pregnancy glow". Quite frankly, I was PISSED I was so sick, frustrated that I still had to drag my butt to a grueling work schedule during the busy holiday season, and angry I couldn't get a single thing accomplished around my house like I had pre-pregnancy. Everything changed around 14 weeks... I had a terrible migraine bout, and obviously not being able to take my migraine medicine, was forced to ride it out for close to 12 hours in the bathroom. I was sick every 5 minutes, had vision auras, tingling fingers, the left side of my body went numb, extreme light sensitivity, and the sound/smell of anything was enough to send me over the edge. My husband called the doctor, and I was placed on a medicine that worked really well for the sickness. Luckily, since that time, the sickness has been much more manageable.

All that being said, I am now in my 19th week, and finally getting everything under control. I'm learning to navigate my new body, and new belly (shoes are getting harder to put on, I'm continually kneeing myself accidentally), and feeling like much of my energy has come back. There's still so much that I'm unable to do, but have spent enough time being pregnant in this body now, that I'm learning what I can, and cannot do. I'm leaning on my wonderful husband for support (he seriously deserves a medal after all he's already done), and we're dividing up chores to still get everything accomplished. I cry over stupid commercials and over a dirty house. I forget that I just bought something, and my husband has to remind me I already have one of those (or 3 December issues of Living... because I forgot I had bought them). But all in all, things are getting much better. My friends have been amazing, calling to check on how I'm doing, offering to help out, giving me maternity clothes- it's just been a form of support I really, truly needed. I've started taking pre-natal yoga and focusing on our diet, so the changes we make now as a couple, support the healthiest lifestyle for us as a family.

I also want to disclaimer this post: Although it hasn't been easy, I've never once questioned if it is worth it. Not a day goes by that I don't feel blessed at this opportunity. I am so looking forward to our little bean, and the addition that he or she will bring to our family. I can't wait to start that next chapter and continue to grow as a person, continuing now to do everything in my ability to nurture my body and mind to be the best possible version of myself that I can be.

Until next time...

Cassandra

17 weeks along